


You Belong Among the Wildflowers

by FrightenedofRabbits



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Blow Jobs, Bullying, Child Abuse, Deaf Billy Hargrove, Deaf Character, Deputy Steve Harrington, Disability, Eventual Smut, Farmer billy, Gay Billy Hargrove, Hard of Hearing Billy Hargrove, Hearing aids, High School, M/M, Slow Burn, Verbal Abuse, hard of hearing character, mentions of child abuse, mentions of high school, past bullying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:54:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28846389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrightenedofRabbits/pseuds/FrightenedofRabbits
Summary: At 25, Billy is living at home and feeling stuck in his life. He yearns for something more out of life but doesn't think it will happen for him. He's deaf/hard of hearing and gay, living at home in the small town he's spent his whole life in. When someone he knew from high school moves back to town, Billy finds himself embracing new friendships and new experiences. And just maybe, he finds what he's been looking for his whole life--love and acceptance.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 15
Kudos: 39





	1. Yearning

**Author's Note:**

> Be safe and take care. :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy goes to a bar.

Billy trudged wearily across the field, the hot early summer sun beating down on him. The shirt he wore had cut off sleeves that revealed his farmer’s tan and a smattering of freckles from years spent out in the sun. It was a warm day, as the long Indiana summer’s were prone to. Sweat was dripping down his forehead and he had to keep removing his hat to wipe his brow. In his arms he carried a gas can. It was his own fault, he’d forgotten to check the gas in the tractor before driving out into the field. He’d made it to the farthest edge of their property where he was about to start tilling up the field to plant sweet corn when the engine began to sputter. Billy cursed to himself as he glanced down at the gas gauge which seemed to mock him as the arrow landed on E. Empty. Billy was forced to trek the almost mile back to the main barn to grab a gas can and then walk it all the way back. He knew it was going to set him back a couple of hours and his dad would be pissed to hear about this later. 

As Billy filled the gas tank and finally started up the tractor to begin work on the field all he could think about was getting done with this and going out later for a cold beer and a burger. It was this thought that carried him through the rest of his work day out in the field. The hum of the tractor was loud and it blocked out his ability to even think about much else. That was something Billy liked about working out in the field--the solitude. There were no other people around to bother him and he hardly even had to be alone with himself, he could easily get lost in the task at hand which allowed hours to pass by in relative ease. 

Finally, after several hours of work, and managing to get most of the upper field tilled and ready for planting, Billy decided to call it a day. He drove the tractor back across the field to the main barn. He parked the tractor outside the barn and hopped down from it to head inside. Inside, he saw his father over by the back wall where he was tinkering with the other tractor. Something had gone wrong on it the other day, the engine wouldn’t turn over. Billy had thought it might be a clogged fuel filter or even one of the fuel lines, which would be an easy enough fix. But apparently it wasn’t so simple and so his dad had been trying to figure out what was wrong with it for a few days now. 

His dad’s head was buried in the hood of the tractor as Billy walked in. “Got the upper field tilled, I’m calling it a day,” Billy called out to his dad. 

Upon hearing his voice, his father pulled his head out and turned to look at Billy. “You did the whole upper field?” his dad asked.

Billy nodded, “Yeah, it’s all done.” 

“Did you go and check the traps around the edge of the property? We can’t have all those racoons eating the corn again this year.”

Billy shook his head no. “I didn’t get to it today, but I’ll do it first thing tomorrow morning.”

Neil let out an angry huff that caused Billy to tense up. “I told you to check the traps yesterday boy, I don’t see why you couldn’t remember to get to it.”

Billy swallowed before he spoke, “I’m sorry dad, it was just an accident that I forgot.”

“It’s that thick fucking head of yours, and that fact that you never fucking listen to me.” Neil turned away from him and directed his attention back to the engine of the tractor in front of him. “Quit being a fucking idiot and be sure to get it done tomorrow.” Billy just nodded even though his father couldn’t see him and turned and walked briskly out of the barn. He hadn’t been able to hear every word his father had said to him with his back turned but he got the gist, it was always more of the same anyways. 

Billy quickly made his way back to the house eager to go take a shower and clean away the day’s dirt, sweat, and grime. His step mom was still at work so the house was empty. Things were a lot more quiet around here since his younger step-sister, Max had gone off to college last year. And now she was even staying there over the summer to take extra classes. Billy didn’t want to admit to himself that he missed her, but he definitely did. Max could be annoying at times, but she was someone to talk to and she didn’t expect him to talk back too much. She was happy to have him listen as she rambled about a variety of topics. In some ways Max was the best friend Billy had, which he considered might be sad since he was twenty five years old. But he supposed his life was just sad in some ways, since he also still lived at home with his parents. Even though he worked for his dad, there was something demoralizing about still sleeping in his childhood bedroom. 

Billy shook these thoughts from his head as he raced up the creaky stairs of their old farmhouse. He ducked into his room and hastily removed his dirt covered and sweat soaked shirt before throwing it in the clothes basket. He got a small thrill when he actually got the shirt in the clothes basket from across the room. He’d never played basketball except occasionally in gym class, but he’d always liked it even if he was never that good. Clad in only his boxers, Billy made his way across the hall to the shower. He started the water and stripped out of his boxers, it was as he was waiting for the water to warm a little that he remembered to reach up and remove his hearing aids. He’d made that mistake once as a child and had learned his lesson. He took them out of each ear carefully and pulled out the battery compartment to shut them off before setting them on the edge of the sink. 

With the already tranquil house made all the more silent, he stepped into the shower and delighted in the cool spray of water as it fell over his body. He luxuriated in the cooling sensation of the water after such a long day out in the hot sun. He took his time shampooing his shoulder length hair. Billy held no regrets about holding onto his mullet even though the eighties were over. If anyone could still pull off the mullet in 1991, it was him. In a way his hair was his armor, it was a shield to hide behind. Even if his dad was always making fun of him for it, there was no way Billy was ever going to cut his hair. 

Billy finished up his shower and grabbed his hearing aids off the edge of the sink before heading back to his room to get dressed. He made quick work of picking out what to wear, he didn’t own very many nice clothes as most of his wardrobe consisted of grease and dirt stained t-shirts that he wore out in the field, fixing tractors, or shoveling cow shit. But he had two button up shirts that his sister Max had gotten him for Christmas. One of them was a light blue color and one was a darker burgundy. Max said they would make his eyes pop, whatever that meant. Fashion wasn’t really Billy’s strength so he assumed he should just trust that his little sister would know best in that regard. 

Billy decided to go with the blue button up, he seldom felt very confident, but he did think the blue went well with his eye color. The long sleeve shirt hid his pale chest and the very distinct tan lines on his arms, there was a reason it was called a farmer’s tan after all. He chose a pair of dark wash jeans, they were an old pair he’d had since high school, he was pretty sure his step mom had bought them as a birthday present one year. Billy added his nicer pair of sneakers which were only nicer because they were the ones with less mud caked onto them. 

He popped back into the bathroom to run his fingers through his hair and make sure it looked alright. He really only ever towel dried it and then let it air dry the rest of the way. The subtle curls in his hair would come out this way, and he didn’t really care to do much else with it. He gave himself one last quick once over before grabbing his wallet and his keys and racing out the front door to his old pick up truck. His old 1983 Ford F-150 pick up truck was his pride and joy and had been since he’d saved up enough to buy it when he was sixteen. 

He hopped in the truck and made quick work of cranking up the radio and blasting his favorite classic rock. Grunge may be taking over now but the music of the eighties couldn’t be beat by all these new guys with their whiny grunge rock. Nirvana was overrated nonsense, you could barely even understand what that Kurt guy was singing half the time. Billy barrelled his way down the long dirt driveway and once he made it to the road he punched the gas, racing off to his favorite local bar/burger joint. Hawk’s was a non-creatively named establishment in Hawkins. But they sold cheap beer and a half decent burger and so it was his favorite place to escape to when he wanted to get away and get wasted. He was a regular at the establishment because he often wanted to get wasted. 

The drive to the center of town took about fifteen minutes, but Billy never minded it. He enjoyed speeding down the road with the AC blasting alongside some rock music. He often thought it was a good thing he seldom had passengers in his car because being deaf and liking music meant the volume he needed it at was often uncomfortable to others. This was just another reason why isolation was for the best. Max would put up with his loud music for a few minutes but she would inevitably reach over and flip off the radio with some sarcastic remark about how she was going to go deaf too if he kept playing the music so loudly. 

Billy pulled up into the small gravel parking lot next to the building and walked in to the sound of Live and Let Die by Guns N’ Roses playing quietly over the speakers, so quietly it took Billy a couple of seconds to hear and identify the song. He made his way over to his usual spot at the bar, over on the far end away from the few other people sat there. He looked at the wall of booze in front of him at all the half-filled liquor bottles. Liquor wasn’t his favorite thing to drink thanks to one bad night a couple of years ago that led to a hangover he couldn’t soon forget. He mainly stuck to the cheap dollar drafts, they were enough for a nice buzz but didn’t lead to a painful night stuck next to the toilet. 

Billy’s attention was grabbed by someone from behind the bar walking over to him. He smiled when he saw it was Heather. “Hey Billy, how are you doing tonight?” She asked in a loud, clear voice which Billy always appreciated given the din of the background music. She knew Billy was hard of hearing and was always courteous while at the same time never making a big deal about it. Billy always appreciated it. 

“I’m good, Heather. How’s it been so far tonight?” Billy replied. 

“Surprisingly good, not too many assholes leering at my boobs. But the night is young so I suppose there’s always still time. What will be your choice of poison tonight?”

“Whichever beer is the dollar draft.” 

“Tonight, that’s Bud Light, I’ll bring it right over. You want me to go and put in your usual burger order?” Heather added on to the end.

Billy gave a small smile and a nod, “Yeah, sounds good. Thanks Heather.”

She returned the smile and then left him to go and give his order to the cook back in the kitchen. Billy knew Heather from high school, they had never been friends back then but she had never been mean or anything. She started working at this bar a little over a year ago during the weekends and over the summer to make extra money. She was a preschool teacher by day and a bartender by night. She was kind to Billy and one of the reasons he’d made himself a regular at the bar. He didn’t really have any friends and he rarely ever talked to people outside of his family so it felt nice to be able to come here and chat with Heather when the bar wasn’t too busy. 

They’d grown even closer since a few months ago when a man had made a very rude remark to Heather and copped a feel. Billy wasn’t one to fight, but he was of a solid and muscular build from years of manual labor on the farm. With one punch, Billy had knocked the guy out cold and thrown him out the door and onto the sidewalk. That had cemented their bond, and now Heather was someone he could consider a friend even if they never saw each other outside of her workplace. 

Billy passed quite a few hours of his evening at his end of the bar. Eating his cheeseburger and fries and then drinking several beers while he contentedly people watched. Heather kept his glass full of beer and would wander over when no other customers demanded her attention to chat about random things. Billy watched the people come and go, the only other people that stayed as long as him were a couple of old Vietnam Vets who would come, get hammered, and then stumble their way back home every night. Billy supposed he wasn’t that drastically different to those old drunks except he didn’t live in town so he’d occasionally spend the night in his car if he wasn’t sober enough for the drive home. The bench seat of his truck was surprisingly comfortable and he didn’t much care either way when he was intoxicated. 

The evening was winding down, Heather was wiping down the bar and clearing away the mess that the last remaining stragglers had left behind. Billy knew this was his cue to leave. He had a nice buzz going and figured it would be wise to nap in his car for at least a few hours so he could sober up for the drive home. He slowly got up from the stool he was sitting at and had to grip onto the edge of the bar to steady himself for a moment. Hearing loss and balance issues sometimes went hand in hand. It normally wasn’t an issue for Billy but it acted up whenever he was drunk. “You alright there, Billy?” Heather called over to him. “You’re not driving are you?”

Billy shook his head. “Nah, m’not stupid. I’ll just sober up in my car for a bit before I drive home.”

“Alright Billy. Stay safe and have a goodnight.”

“Same to you, Heather.” Billy called out as he made his way out to his car. The night air was much cooler now in contrast to the heat earlier in the day. It was a nice reprieve and felt good to Billy. He stumbled into his truck and laid down on the bench seat, he laid there staring up at the clear starry night through the windshield. Sometimes looking at the stars made Billy feel a tugging in his chest, it was almost a morose feeling to be reminded of how small and insignificant he was in the universe. It amplified the feelings of longing he sometimes felt, a yearning for something more in life. He wanted so many things. He wanted to be known by others. He wanted to be known and accepted for who he was. He wanted to be loved for who he was. Instead, he was a twenty five year old closeted gay man who still lived with his parents. He was stuck and it felt pretty hopeless at times to think he would ever actually be able to have anything more in life than what he currently did. It was with these thoughts that Billy drifted off into a fitful drunken slumber.


	2. The Loneliness and the Scream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy meets someone that he used to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be safe and take care. :)

Billy awoke abruptly to the feeling of his truck shaking. In his half conscious sleep-wake state he thought there was an earthquake or something, what else could explain the shaking? It took him a moment to fully wake up and when he started to gather his bearings he sat up and that’s when he saw him standing there. Through his driver’s side window he saw a cop standing by the door looking in at him. It was still pretty dark out, with just the slightest pink glow starting to creep up over the edge of the sky. Billy wondered what time it was. The cop had been shaking his car and probably banging on the window but Billy realized he probably hadn’t heard that because his hearing aids were laying up on the dashboard. 

Billy held up his hand to the officer, stood outside his window and rushed to put his hearing aids in. Once he’d done that, he reached over and cranked down the window. “Hello, sir,” Billy said as he finished rolling down the window. 

In the faint light of the approaching dawn, Billy couldn’t really make out the man’s face. “Damn,” the man said as he exhaled loudly. “I thought you were dead or something. I was banging on your window forever, thought I was going to have to break it.” 

Billy felt the familiar warm blush of embarrassment creep over his face. He grimaced, thinking about the unfortunate scenario of waking up to glass breaking over him. He definitely couldn’t afford to fix a broken window right now. “Sorry, I’m deaf and a deep sleeper which is not a great combination.” Billy stated in a quiet voice while not really making eye contact with the stranger in the dark. 

“Why were you sleeping in your car?”

Billy sighed, “I had a few too many to drink this evening so I was just sleeping it off for a few hours before I head home. I slept longer than I thought I would.”

Billy could make out the man nodding a little more clearly now that the dawn was just breaching the sky. “Well I always appreciate when people make smart decisions and don’t drive drunk. If you’re good to go, I guess I leave you so you can head on home now,” the man stated.

Billy let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, officer.”

It was just as he let out those words that the man leaned in closer to the window. Billy could just now make out the man’s face clearly. It was a face he knew, but one he hadn’t seen in nearly ten years. His mind might have short circuited for a moment because seeing Steve Harrington, not only back in Hawkins, but in a police uniform was the last thing Billy would have ever expected to see. Billy knew suddenly that Steve must have recognized him too. 

“Billy?” Steve asked in a curious tone of voice. “Hargrove,” he added on as though he’d just remembered Billy’s last name. 

Billy nodded before he spoke, “Harrington.” Billy was suddenly grateful that it wasn’t too bright outside. It was still dim enough for the darkness to hide the blush that covered his face. Memories came rushing back to him as the other man’s name left the tip of his tongue. He was almost in awe that Steve Harrington was standing in front of him. 

Billy could make out Steve’s small smile in the dawning light. The soft glow of the early morning made his pale skin take on almost an orange-pink hue. “Damn Hargrove, I didn’t even recognize you. I mean of course it’s pretty dark, but hey it’s good to see you. I haven’t really seen many people from high school since I moved back to town. 

“Well there aren’t that many people from high school around here anymore.” Billy uttered out. 

“I suppose that’s true, it’s been quite a few years, hasn’t it?” Steve spoke with a hint of disbelief in his voice and Billy understood that tone of voice. The passage of time was often a baffling thing to consider. “Well Billy, I won’t keep you. I’ll let you get back home, I’m sure you want to go sleep in an actual bed. Me, I’ve got a few hours left of my shift. But the night shift isn’t too bad, easier here than it was back in Chicago.” With that, Steve tapped the roof of Billy’s truck and turned around with a wave and headed back to his cruiser. Billy could only sit there in his truck and watch as Steve drove away down the empty main street. Billy had to stop and wonder for a moment if he was dreaming. 

After a minute Billy got his wits about him again and started up the truck, it was then that he finally looked at the clock on the dashboard and saw that it was already nearly six in the morning. Billy let out a groan of displeasure, realizing that by the time he got back to his house he’d probably only be able to squeeze in another hour of sleep before he had to go move the cows to fresh grazing pasture. Billy shifted the truck into gear and drove home with thoughts of Steve Harrington on his mind. 

Billy made it home and managed to grab a grand total of thirty minutes of sleep in his own bed before his dad was poking him awake and telling him to go take care of the cattle. Wearily, Billy went about his morning chores; moving the cows to fresh pasture, mucking out their stalls, throwing out fresh feed to the chickens, and then finally returning to the field to finish tilling the soil. Billy was so tired that he didn’t really think about much of anything as he worked. But finally, when he was riding the tractor mindlessly around the field, letting the mechnations of the machine till the soil, he finally let his mind wander to the other man. 

Steve Harrington had been the year above Billy in school. Steve was popular, probably the most popular kid in the entire school. His parents had money and he was always throwing parties, not that Billy ever went to these parties. Billy was fairly certain that Steve had never spoken more than a few words to him the entire time they’d been in school together. But at least Steve had never been one of the people to make fun of Billy by making cruel comments behind his back. High school had been hard for Billy. The battery pack he had to wear around his neck with wires going into his ears had been embarrassing. For someone who wanted nothing more than to fade away into the background, his hearing aids made him stick out like a sore thumb. It had been a huge relief to him, when just a few years ago he’d gotten a much newer model of hearing aids that didn’t require him to wear the battery pack around his neck. 

Billy finally let his mind wander to the one thought he kept locked away in the back of his mind. This was a thought he would pull up every once and awhile, sometimes when he was laying in bed at night after a long day of work. This was the thought about the day he walked in on Steve Harrington in the locker room. It was the end of the school day and Billy wouldn’t normally be in the locker room but he’d left one of his books there earlier in the day when he’d had gym class. He’d only meant to run in and grab his textbook before rushing off to catch his bus. He ended up missing his bus that day. He ended up missing his bus because when he walked into the locker room and was about to round the corner to where his locker was, he stopped short. He was still tucked behind a row of lockers, but in front of him he could see Steve Harrington on his knees blowing one of the other jocks in school, Tommy Hagan. 

Billy was immediately riveted, frozen in place as he watched Steve Harrington completely take Tommy’s cock in his mouth. The way his lips and tongue moved had Billy mezmorized. The scene before him had been like one of his wet dreams come to life, this time starring the boy he already had a crush on. Billy knew he should have turned around and left, he figured a better person would have done that. But Billy wasn’t better than that, he was captivated, frozen in place. 

It was only after he’d seen Tommy pull out of Steve’s mouth and come on his face that Billy figured out that he needed to leave. They couldn’t know that he’d seen them. But just as Billy had been about to turn and run, an eye caught his. Steve Harrington’s eyes briefly met his and Billy figured he was screwed, he’d been caught. But instead of saying anything at all Steve looked away, the corner of his mouth quirked up into a slight smile. Tommy said something that Billy couldn’t make out as Steve stood and pulled Tommy away with him towards the shower. 

Billy forgot all about his book, he just ran from the room as fast as he could. He realized he had missed his bus but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He’d walked the long trek home feeling dazed and confused. Wondering why the hell Steve had seemed to smile when he caught Billy watching them. Billy felt frantic the next day at school, worried that Steve might confront him or something, and call him out for being some kind of pervert. But Steve never did mention it. Anytime they passed by one another in the hallway, Billy was sure to avert his gaze. And just a few months later Steve graduated. He was gone and Billy was left with so many fucking questions. Was Steve Harrington gay too? 

Billy felt a lot of shame about what he had seen. He never meant to be some kind of voyeur. But that had been the first time he’d seen the things that existed in his nighttime fantasies played out before him in real life. He felt ashamed to have witnessed such an intimate moment that he wasn’t supposed to but that shame wasn’t enough to stop him from calling up the memory sometimes still, when he would touch himself in the shower or at night before going to sleep. His memory of the event was crystal clear in his mind. The sight of Steve’s plush lips wrapped around another man’s cock made Billy’s head swim and the blood rush southward. He could only imagine what it would feel like to have those lips wrapped around his own dick. 

The one person he’d ever had sex with had been a woman, a few years ago. It was an unsatisfactory night and Billy wasn’t keen on remembering it. The real truth of his desires were too difficult to actualize in the small town where he lived. There was no one else in Hawkins that was like him. Except for maybe Steve Harrington, but Steve Harrington had moved to Chicago for college. But now he was back. Billy didn’t know what to make of it, but he’d seen Steve that night with his own eyes. It hadn't been a dream. The one other person Billy thought might be like him was back in town. But he also knew it didn’t matter. No one would want to date him anyways. He was a sad, lonely, twenty five year old deaf guy who still lived with his parents. He knew he wasn’t a catch. Even if there were other people like him in town it didn’t mean anything. He wasn’t worth anything to anyone.  
Billy looked out at the freshly tilled dirt around him and couldn’t help but resent his life. He stopped the tractor for a moment to stare up at the bright cloudless sky. He reached up and gripped at his face as he felt a tear fall. Sometimes his life felt like it was too much. Like loneliness was the only feeling he would ever know. He wanted to feel warmth and love, but here he was stuck with nothing but a yearning desire for something more that he didn’t think he was worthy of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this fic's title is a reference to the song Wildflower by Tom Petty. I recommend giving it a listen. Thanks for reading this chapter and please leave a comment and/or a kudos if you feel so inclined. 
> 
> \- FOR


	3. A Confusing Mess of Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy goes to a diner and accepts an invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be safe and take care. :)

Billy knew his life was not an exciting one. He passed by each week doing much of the same work. The exact work he had to do changed with the seasons; spring and summer were for planting and preparing the fields, fall for harvesting, winter was for maintenance and tending livestock. But he could always find himself waking up bright and early each morning and out doing some work on the farm just as the sun was rising. A couple nights a week he’d go hang out with Heather at the bar, eat the same meal, and drink a little too much. Once or twice a week his evenings might be punctuated by a phone call from Max, he always looked forward to hearing about her classes and the drama of her friends. This was it. This was the entirety of his life. He was aware it was a pitiful existence. 

It was another morning full of much of the same. He was trekking around the perimeter of the property with a rifle slung over his shoulder. His dad had once again outsourced the job of checking the traps for raccoons and/or other small game that might harass their crops. Billy hated checking the traps, it was one of his least favorite jobs to do. He’d much rather spread manure in the fields and that was by and far one of the worst jobs since it left the stench of cow shit in one’s hair and clothes for what seemed to be days at a time. Billy hated to check the traps because his dad set out traps that caught the animals alive. But instead of catching them and releasing them elsewhere, his dad forced him out here with a rifle to shoot them and then leave their bodies in the woods for the scavengers. 

Shooting the animals always made Billy feel bad. Whether it was a squirrel, raccoon, or a fox, it didn’t matter, they always had cute little furry faces with warm eyes. And Billy had to shoot them in the head at point blank range, just as his father had taught him to do when he was young. Billy had cried when he was forced to shoot his first animal as a child. But Billy didn’t cry anymore, he knew not to do that. Instead, he did what he was told without complaint. He grabbed the .22 caliber Winchester rifle from the house and set out to the job that needed to be done. Every trap he stumbled upon that was empty Billy was secretly grateful for, it meant he didn’t have to kill anything. 

Billy knew his dad wouldn’t be happy when he reported back that all the traps had been empty that day but he didn’t really care. He was happy to return the rifle back to the house, empty out the ammo before replacing the gun in the cabinet with the others. The house was empty, his father had taken the truck a few towns over to pick up a few supplies that were needed. Billy was almost tempted to sit down for a moment and have another cup of coffee. But he knew the fence in the back field needed mending and he really should move the chicken coop to a fresh patch of grass. Billy gave a longing gaze to the coffee maker before he headed back out to the barn and jumped on a four wheeler with the supplies he needed to mend the fence in the trailer he towed behind him. 

He passed by the roughly fifty black angus cattle they had on the farm. The beef cattle weren’t their main source of income, they mainly sold it to a few local co-ops that liked to sell local products. He smiled at one of the cute little calves that was out in the field standing by its mother. Their deep dark eyes which nearly matched their dark black coats shone in the sunlight. The sky above him was clear of all clouds and the hot Indiana sun was beating down on him once again. It was inescapable out in the fields, away from the shade the trees provided. 

Billy got to work mending the fence, letting his mind drift as he did a task he’d done so many times before. Most of his work on the farm was pretty mindless. He’d been doing it for so long now, a lot of it was second nature. It took him a little longer than he would have liked, since he had to make a few trips back to the main barn for additional tools. After the fence was fixed he went and hitched up the mobile chicken coop and moved it, and all the hens, over to a fresh patch of grass and threw out some more grain for them. He smiled down at all the ladies squawking around him. They were always so noisy when they were fed, but they weren’t afraid of him at all. They were wandering around his feet maybe thinking he might throw them more food. He collected the freshly laid eggs and then bid the chickens farewell before heading back to the house. The fresh eggs were also sold at a local co-op. He figured he would take the latest batch of them down there now. 

Billy loaded up the eggs and then set out towards town. The small local food co-op was run by a man with long blonde dreadlocks and a penchant for tie dye. His father hated the guy, which was why Billy was usually the one to drop off the products. Jerry was a nice guy, even if the smell of patchouli wafting off of him could be a bit overpowering at times. Billy brought his truck around to the back of the small yellow building and knocked on the back door until Jerry peeked his head out. “Heya Billy. More eggs! Love to see it, we’re almost sold out. You’re a real lifesaver man.” 

Billy handed over the crate of eggs, accepted the cash in exchange for the eggs, and gave Jerry a small nod and a tight lipped smile before quickly retreating back to his truck. Billy was out and about so he figured he might treat himself with lunch at the diner in town. It was mid-afternoon by now, a little late in the day, but his stomach was growling. Billy drove just down the street where the diner was. He headed in and went straight to a spot at the end of the counter. A waitress was quick to spot him and brought him over a menu and took his drink order. 

Billy gave the menu a cursory glance even though he already knew what he wanted to eat. The waitress returned once again and he quickly gave her his order of a turkey club sandwich. He leisurely sipped on his soda, enjoying the air conditioning, and peering out the window beside him at the cars and the occasional passerbys. He was lost in his own thoughts, going over what still needed to be done for the day. He still needed to bring down more hay from the loft, muck out the cow’s barn before they came in for the night, and check to make sure the oil in the tractor was good to go for planting the next day. 

Billy was so lost in his own thoughts that a voice he recognized sitting beside him almost startled him. Billy peeled his eyes away from the window to look beside him and saw none other than Steve Harrington. It was just as Billy noticed him sitting there that Steve also noticed Billy and met him with a smile. “Hey Hargrove,” Steve greeted him with a cheery tone. Steve was in uniform, his tan uniform shirt was adorned with a name tag that read S. Harrington, Deputy. 

“It’s good to see you in the daylight Billy,” Steve said. 

Billy gave a curt nod and a tight lipped smile. A part of him wanted to get up and run away from this particular social interaction. He knew he was far too awkward to get through this unscathed, especially without the helpful cover of night. Billy was saved for a brief moment while the waitress came and took Steve’s order, but Steve didn’t even take a menu as he already knew what he wanted. When the waitress left, Steve turned on his stool slightly so he was facing Billy better. 

“You’ve really bulked up since high school,” Steve commented lightly. Billy could feel Steve’s eyes on him, appraising. It felt weird, but maybe not as bad as he would have thought. 

Billy shrugged. “I work on my dad’s farm.” 

Steve nodded thoughtfully, “You still live out on Elmore road?”

Billy nodded. 

“I head out that way sometime on patrols, but that’s really out there. It’s nice though, seems nice and quiet. I didn’t realize how much I missed the quiet until I came back here from Chicago. In the city it’s so loud you almost can’t hear yourself think half the time.”

Billy just gave another small nod to indicate that he was listening. Steve gave a small smile, “Not much of a talker are you?”

“Guess not,” Billy muttered. 

“I haven’t seen too many other people yet since I got back to town. It seems most people have moved away. Not that I can really blame them. Hell, I wanted nothing more than to escape too. But here I am again, I guess Hawkins pulled me back in. Really, I couldn’t refuse when Chief Hopper offered me the job.” 

“How long have you been a cop?” Billy surprised himself by asking. 

Steve looked too excited to answer. “Going on six years now. Entered the academy right after college. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do and then I saw an ad in the paper. It’s a fun job, hard at times, but I like being able to help people.” 

Billy was saved from responding by the arrival of his sandwich. Steve engaged him in some idle chatter as he ate his sandwich, with Steve doing the lionshare of the talking. Billy realized he didn’t really mind listening to Steve talk. They’d never talked in high school. Back then Steve was both too cool and an upperclassman. Not someone Billy would ever have reason to share words with. But now, ten years later, those pretenses seemed to evaporate. Steve seemed happy to chatter away while Billy ate. 

Billy was just finishing his sandwich when the waitress both dropped off Steve’s burger and Billy’s check. Billy got out his wallet and counted out the correct money plus a little extra for the tip. He left the money on top of the receipt. As he was rising from the stool, Steve stopped him. “Billy?”

Billy looked up at the other man, “Yeah?”

“You want to grab drinks some night this week? I don’t work Friday night? Wanna meet up at Hawk’s around 7?”

Billy’s mind stalled for a moment. Steve wanted to go out for drinks with him? Steve Harrington wanted to go out for drinks with Billy Hargrove? This didn’t make sense. If this was happening ten years ago Billy would have assumed it was some kind of mean prank that would end up with some sort of humiliation forced on him. But Steve’s eyes were genuine, warm even. The amber in his brown eyes was warm and captivating and in what could have been against his better judgement, Billy couldn’t help but trust those eyes. They were beautiful eyes. 

“Uhhh, yeah sure. I’m free Friday night.” Billy replied quietly. He was free every night but Steve didn’t need to know that. 

Steve’s face lit up with a bright smile. “Awesome, I’ll see you then Billy. Have a good rest of your day.” Billy mumbled a parting remark and turned and walked out of the diner wondering what the hell had just happened. He was going to have drinks with Steve Harrington? The same Steve Harrington he saw suck off Tommy Hagan in the school locker rooms. Billy’s head was a mess of confusion as he drove home, and the entire rest of the day as he finished up his work on the farm. 

As Billy lay in bed that night his mind couldn’t help but wander back to that day in high school. That day when he saw Steve Harrington on his knees, his mind crept into that place he didn’t often allow it to go. To that corner of his brain where he imagined himself in the place of Tommy Hagan. Instead of Steve’s long, wavy brown hair from high school, this time his hair was shorter, the style he currently wore it in, shorter but still styled impeccably well. Billy had to bite back the sounds that threatened to escape as he touched himself to these thoughts. 

After he came, he grabbed a dirty t-shirt from the floor beside his bed to wipe off the mess on stomach. His mind was occupied with a few different questions. Was Steve Harrington gay? Did Steve Harrington want to be friends with him? Or was this invite to drink, something more? Billy had a hard time believing the answer to any of these questions was yes, but he wanted them to be. He realized in that moment that he did want Steve. Steve who was beautiful all those years ago was still just as beautiful now. Hell, maybe now he was even more so, the years had been kind to his slim but muscular physique. 

Billy closed his eyes, knowing he needed to get to sleep in anticipation of another early day ahead. The next day was Thursday and that meant it was just one more day until he saw Steve again. He knew, as he drifted off to sleep, that he would think of little else in the coming day other than Steve. Steve’s hair, Steve’s lips, Steve’s smile, the way Steve filled out the uniform he wore. Billy’s heart was a mess of confused desire as he finally fell asleep.


	4. Wanna be Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendship is magic (and gay).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be safe and take care. :)

Billy glanced at the clock on his nightstand and let out a sigh of frustration at how slowly the time seemed to be passing. It always seemed to go this way, when eager for something, time felt like an eternity. Whereas when something was enjoyable, time would fly by even if you wanted it to last forever. Billy sat perched on the edge of his bed, he kept fidgeting with the cuff of his shirtsleeve, second guessing himself and wondering if this shirt was too nice to wear for drinks with Steve tonight. He was wearing his burgundy button up shirt and he wondered if it was too dressy. Maybe Steve would be wearing a t- shirt and jeans and he would look like an over eager idiot in comparison. Billy had half a mind to jump up and rip the shirt off and exchange it for a plain black t-shirt, something that didn’t make him look like he was trying too hard. 

Although tempted to change, Billy decided against it. Instead he kept staring at the red glow of the numbers on his clock radio that sat on his bedside table. Beside his clock sat a pile of cassettes and his walkman for when he wanted to listen to music late at night and not have to worry about waking people up. His current favorite cassette was the newest album by  _ Queensryche, Empire _ . That album had just come out the year prior but Billy was obsessed with it. Underneath it sat his old favorite _ Led Zeppelin _ album,  _ Physical Graffiti _ , which he had just been listening to last night as he lay awake, too anxious to easily fall asleep. 

The glow of the clock read  _ 6:25 _ , he had been sitting on his bed ready for a little over ten minutes. He’d rushed through his day’s work, feeling both eager and anxious for the evening to come. He thought he would take longer to get ready but here he was stuck waiting so he didn’t arrive at the bar too early. Billy tossed around the thought that he could leave now if he just drove slowly, then he wouldn’t be _ that _ early. But Billy knew his own lead foot and he knew he should just wait and be patient. This night wasn’t going to be anything other than getting drinks with someone he barely knew from high school. Pay no mind to the fact that this person he barely knew from high school had sucked another guy’s dick at least once in his life. 

Billy tried to shake the thought of Steve’s high school locker room activities from his mind, now was not the time to think such things or to have such bodily reactions. Billy wiped his sweaty palms on the dark denim fabric that covered his thighs. He felt a ball of tension inside of him, he questioned if he could do this. Could he go have drinks with someone? What if that someone who invited him for drinks was also the really hot guy he’d been harboring a crush on since high school? What if he was terribly awkward and scared Steve away? What if his hearing aids died in the middle of the conversation and suddenly he didn’t know what Steve was saying and just had to nod along pretending he understood? 

This last thought prompted Billy to yank out his hearing aids and quickly put in new batteries even though the current one’s hadn’t been in that long. He didn’t want to risk the batteries dying, so changing them now was at least one less thing to worry about. Maybe he couldn’t help it if he was awkward or said something stupid, but he could at least make sure he could hear the other man alright. This time when Billy glanced at the clock the time read,  _ 6:35 _ and he figured he could leave now without being too early, worst case scenario he’d wait in his truck in the parking lot for a few minutes. Billy bound down the stairs and was grateful to see that Neil and Susan had already left for their trip one town over to go see whatever movie it was that Susan was talking about at dinner last night. 

The rev of the truck’s engine as Billy slowly made his way down their long dirt driveway began to set his mind at ease a little bit. The low indecipherable words of the music he had playing on the radio seemed to help unravel some of the ball of tension that had been living in his chest. Before he knew it, he was pulling into the gravel parking lot next to Hawk’s. It was then that he realized he didn’t know what kind of car Steve drove, he’d only seen him driving around in a police cruiser, but he assumed he had a personal car. Deterred for a moment, Billy sat in his car wondering if he should just go in the building. Maybe Steve was already there? 

But if Steve wasn’t there then Billy would have to choose where to sit. Did Steve want to sit at the bar or would he prefer one of the booths where it was quieter to talk? Billy tried to shake the thoughts away and instead rose up in the seat just slightly so he could peer at himself in the rearview mirror. He checked his hair, taking a moment to touch it up before conceding that there was no way to make it any better than it already was. He looked over at the front door of the building, staring at it hoping he would see Steve walk in. The clock in his truck read  _ 6:55 _ , and he knew he should probably get out of the safety of his truck and head inside. If Steve wasn’t there yet he could stop and chat with Heather until he arrived and then ask him where he preferred to sit. 

Billy turned off the truck and opened its creaky driver’s side door, the sound of which reminded him that he needed to grease the door hinge later. He trudged over to the door, hoping that Steve would already be inside somewhere waiting. In the moments it took his eyes to adjust to the dimmer lighting inside the bar, Billy glanced over at the bar where he saw Heather and then did a quick scan of the rest of the room. His belly did a quick somersault when over in the back corner of the restaurant he saw Steve Harrington waving him over to the booth where he sat. 

Billy approached the table to see that Steve had already gotten two pints of beer, one sat opposite of him, where Billy would sit. As Billy arrived at the table Steve’s face lit up with a welcoming smile and Billy had to resist thinking of the one word that popped into his head,  _ beautiful _ . 

“Hey Billy, how’s it going?” Steve asked enthusiastically. 

Billy gave a small smile as he took his seat across from Steve. “I’m good now that I can have this beer, thanks by the way.”

“Oh yeah, no problem. I was eager to have a cold one too, especially after four night shifts in a row. Hopper keeps sticking me with them.” 

Billy took a sip from the full glass of beer and tasted that it was much smoother than his normal dollar drafts. It was most likely one of the craft IPA’s, stuff that he seldom drank. Billy would never usually spend the money on beer this expensive but he was more than happy to drink it if someone else was paying. With his first sip of beer, Billy felt more of the tension leave his shoulders. This was alright, he thought he might even be able to enjoy himself this evening. 

“I can’t complain too much. For someone who gave me a shit ton of speeding tickets in high school, Hop’s not a bad boss. I think he probably still sees me as that troublemaking kid so I’ve got to show him that I’ve grown up. It’s been ten years, I’ve learned to abide by the speed limit....mostly.” Steve added on with a chuckle. 

Billy laughed along with him. “I only ever got one speeding ticket back in the day. My dad kicked my ass so I learned my lesson real quick, never did that again.” 

“My dad was never around enough to give a shit about much of anything that I did.” This information was new to Billy, he really didn’t know much about Steve other than he came from money. He remembered hearing about all the parties Steve would throw at his big house back in the day. There was constant chatter in the hallways about when the next party would be and who was pooling money to get a keg. Billy figured he probably could have just shown up at these parties and no one would have cared either way, but it wasn’t his scene. Free alcohol might have been nice, but the thought of being surrounded by all his classmates who ignored and ridiculed him during the day at school didn’t sound like a pleasant time. 

“Is that why you were able to have all those parties back in the day?” Billy asked as he downed the last sip from his pint glass. 

“Yeah, my parents weren’t around much and I took advantage of that.” Steve eyed Billy as he drank from his glass, taking a large swig to empty his glass as well. “You want me to go get another round,” Steve asked.

“I can go buy the next round if you want,” Billy offered. “I don’t mind.”

“Nah, it’s on me Billy.” Steve said as he grabbed their two glasses and rose from the table to head towards the bar. Billy watched Steve walk towards the bar and maybe stared at this way his ass looked in the khaki pants he wore. Billy was pleased to see that he wasn’t over dressed. Steve was wearing a preppy grey and green striped polo shirt that didn’t look much different from how he used to dress in high school. Billy couldn’t help that for a moment his mind drifted to that day back in the high school locker room and how his attention had been divided between Steve’s lips wrapped around the other boy’s cock and the way Steve’s sizable bulge strained against the khaki pants he wore that day. 

Billy was startled out of the memory and almost jumped at the sound of Steve setting a glass down in front of him. Billy glanced up at Steve and he prayed that his face didn’t betray any of his previous thoughts. Instead, he forced out a thanks, suddenly feeling too awkward as Steve sat back down across from him and stared. Billy let out a sound to clear his throat, “thanks, Steve.”

Steve only nodded but didn’t say a word, only offered up a contemplative look in Billy’s direction. Steve’s beautiful brown eyes felt hot like lasers as they bore into Billy. The two men each took a drink from their beer glasses as a silence settled between them for what was just a few seconds but felt longer. Finally, after what felt like a small eternity to Billy, Steve spoke. “I actually wanted to invite you out tonight for a specific reason.”

Billy scrunched his eyebrows, feeling confused as to what reason that could be. But he stayed silent so Steve could continue. “I uh, just wanted to apologize...for everything that went down in high school.”

Billy had to put in a great deal of effort to control the expression on his face because he felt a hot wave of emotion rolling over him in that moment. Was Steve talking about the locker room incident? Why would he apologize for that? Wasn’t Billy the one who had been the creepy pervert who watched them?

Steve continued, “I know people weren’t exactly kind to you back then, about the whole hearing aid situation. I’m just sorry that I never did anything to stop those assholes back then. If I could go back in time I’d do a few things differently.”

Billy let out a breath he was holding. Of course, the bullying. He wasn’t talking about the blow job, why would he bring that up? 

Billy gave a dismissive wave of the hand, “You don’t have to feel bad about any of that, it’s all in the past,” Billy muttered quietly. “You were never mean to me.”

“No, I know that. I just, I didn’t ever do anything when any of my so called friends back then would say stupid shit and I feel bad about that.”

“What are you looking for?” Billy asked. “Absolution? Do you want me to let you off the hook so you can have a clean conscience.” Billy felt himself getting slightly angry. Was this the whole reason Steve was even talking to him right now? Because he felt guilty about some shit he was barely a part of ten years ago. 

Steve grimaced, looking uncomfortable. “Dude, no. I mean yes, I want to apologize, but I’m not asking for anything. And that’s not the sole reason I asked you to come have drinks with me tonight. We barely knew each other back in the day, but it’s been a long time. You seem like a cool guy and so I figured it might be nice to get to know you. I just want to acknowledge that I’m not the same asshole I was back in the day.”

Billy took a swig from his glass and stared at the man across from him. Billy felt the small amount of anger that he’d had inside of him quickly fade away. Steve wasn’t a bad guy and he didn’t deserve any anger Billy might have. The way those brown doe eyes stared into him Billy also felt quite certain he didn’t really have it in him to hold anything against Steve Harrington. 

“You want to be friends?” Billy asked in a quiet voice. 

“Yeah, Billy. I want to be friends with you. You want to be friends with me?” Steve asked with a hint of humor in his voice, like he recognized they sounded like first graders asking each other to be friends. 

Billy let out a soft chuckle but felt an airiness inside of him. He didn’t have any friends, unless he counted his little sister, which he figured might be a sad thing to do. But here Steve Harrington was, asking Billy to be his friend. Steve, the popular kid, was asking Billy, the nerdy deaf kid who people made fun of in school to be friends. It didn’t fully make sense to him, but he figured he shouldn’t question this sort of thing. 

“Sure, Steve. We can be friends. But I have one condition.”

Steve’s eyebrows raised with curiosity, “what’s the condition?”

“You buy beer the rest of the night.”

Steve’s face lit up into a smile. A beautiful magnificent smile that reached his eyes. Billy was enamored. 

“You drive a hard bargain Hargrove, but it’s one I can easily accept.”

Billy shared a grin that matched Steve’s. The two men passed the rest of the evening chatting over expensive beer that Steve happily kept paying for. Billy laughed more than he had in years. This friendship was something he thought he might come to enjoy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please feel free to leave a kudos and/or a comment as it is always appreciated. You can also find me on tumblr at frightenedofrabbits. 
> 
> \- FOR


	5. Easy Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy offers to do Steve a favor and they enjoy easy conversations on a couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be safe and take care. :)

Billy flopped down onto his bed and let the exhaustion from another day out in the hot summer sun come crashing down on him. He’d just gotten out of the shower and was wearing just a pair of boxers since it was way too hot out for any other clothes. Their old farm house had poor ventilation and all the heat rose, making the upstairs bedrooms like an oven. Billy had the one window in his bedroom open as far as it could go but there wasn’t much of a breeze that evening. Billy lay atop the quilt on his bed and stared out the window beside him which faced the western fields. It was around seven o’clock in the evening, the sun was slowly making its way down the sky but there were still a few hours of light left, thanks to the long summer days. 

Billy could just barely make out the sound of Neil and Susan downstairs watching Jeopardy on TV. It was faint, but Billy could just make out the sound of Alex Trebek’s voice announcing the first category. Billy tuned out the sound and focused on the green fields outside his window. He had thought about going downtown to the bar for a few hours but it was so hot that he didn’t feel particularly inclined to put on more clothes than necessary. Instead, he thought he might just lay in and read a book or listen to some music while trying to stay cool. But as Billy lay propped up against the pillows on his bed, staring out the window his mind inevitably drifted to Steve. 

Billy had just seen Steve two days ago, when they went out for drinks at Hawk’s again. In the two week since they’d become friends, going out for drinks on the days Steve had nights off from work had become a running thing. The other night they’d opted for the bar where Billy had introduced Steve and Heather. Of course they sort of remembered each other from high school but they’d never run in the same crowd. Billy hadn’t remembered laughing that much in a long time. Heather kept their glasses full and it was a slow night so she spent most of it over at their end of the bar joining in on the conversation. 

Billy quickly learned that Steve’s main mode of humor was sarcasm. He was an animated speaker and spoke loudly and excitedly, often waving his hands around somewhat erratically when he got really into what he was saying. Billy enjoyed nothing more than ribbing Steve for his taste in music, but Heather and Steve ganged up on him when he loudly declared that grunge music sucked. 

Steve was gesticulating wildly as he explained the reasons why Billy needed to listen to Temple of the Dog. “Chris Cornell is like a god, his voice is incredible. If you don’t like the song _Hunger Strike_ , you’re probably dead inside, that’s all I’m saying.”

“I guess I’m dead inside then because grunge music makes me wish I was even more deaf than I already am,” Billy had replied. This caused Heather to lose it and Steve to smack him playfully on the arm. It had been a really good night. 

Unfortunately, Steve was working tonight so Billy was spending the evening at home. He rolled over and stared at the book he was in the middle of reading, it was a new Stephen King book, _The Library Policeman_. He was halfway through the book and it was an enjoyable read but for some reason he didn’t really feel like reading in the moment. He felt kind of listless and uneasy, like he wanted to do something but didn’t know what. For a brief moment his eyes wandered over to the doorknob and he considered getting up and locking the door so he could jerk off in privacy. But even that thought quickly left his mind when he remembered how hot it was, the physical exertion didn’t seem worth it. 

It was just then that Billy heard the sound of the phone ringing downstairs. It was a Friday so he doubted that it was Max, she usually never called on Fridays because she was out with friends. It was probably Susan’s sister, that woman was always calling to complain about her latest in a long string of boyfriends. It then surprised Billy when he heard Susan call his name, “Billy, phone’s for you.”

Confused, Billy jumped up from the bed and made his way down the creaky stairs. He passed through the living room where he saw his dad was half asleep in his reclining chair. He made it into the kitchen where Susan was holding out the phone to him. He wondered if it was Max after all, but if it was Susan would have told him. Billy took the phone from Susan and watched her walk away as he brought the phone up to his left ear, it was the ear with better hearing. Still curious about who would be calling for him besides his sister, Billy let out a cautious greeting, “Hello?” Billy said with a slight lilt to his voice. 

“Billy? Hey! It’s Steve.”

Billy was even more confused for a moment. Why was Steve calling him? He had never given Steve his home phone number. “Uh hey, how’d you get my number?”

“Well, there’s this nifty thing called a phone book. It’s really cool, it has everyone’s phone number in it and you were easy enough to find since there’s only one family with the last name Hargrove in town.”

Billy let out a soft chuckle at Steve’s antics. “Yeah, okay. Why are you calling me? I thought you were working tonight?”

“Well I was supposed to work tonight but Callahan wanted to trade shifts at the last minute so I’m suddenly free for the evening and was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place to hang out.” Billy was slightly taken aback by the offer, he hadn’t planned on going anywhere for the rest of the evening, he wasn’t even wearing pants. 

“Oh, I uh don’t know. I hadn’t really planned on going anywhere this evening.” Even as Billy was saying the words he knew he really wanted to go see Steve. He had also never actually been to Steve’s apartment even though it was right in town. 

“So what I’m hearing is you didn’t plan on going anywhere so that means you have no plans and therefore can come see me.” Steve explained with a lighthearted tone. 

Billy chuckled, “Hmmm it seems like you got me there. I can’t argue with such sound logic. I guess I’ll go put on some pants and come over then.”

“I mean pants aren’t required, there’s no dress code or anything. But do as you please. I’ll have a cold beer waiting for you so hurry up.” Billy felt heat rising in his cheeks at Steve’s words but managed to let out a quiet goodbye before hanging up the phone. For just a moment Billy stared at the phone on the wall and the way the cord was still gently swaying against the wall from the motion of replacing it. Billy was startled from his reverie by the sound of Susan appearing in the doorway of the kitchen, “Who was that, Billy?”

Billy peeled his eyes from the phone and glanced over at Susan. “A friend.”

Susan offered up a small smile. “A new friend?”  
“Yeah. Well we knew each other in high school, sort of. I’m going over to his place for a few hours.”

Susan gave a small nod as she uncrossed her arms and sweeped her bangs out her eyes and tucked the loose hair behind her ear. Max did the same motion all the time. It made Billy miss his little sister suddenly. “Drive safely honey, I hope you have a good time.”

Billy only gave a nod in response before brushing past Susan and heading back upstairs to put on some actual clothes and grab his wallet and keys. Billy grabbed a pair of cut off Levi denim shorts that were thrown over the end of his bed and threw them on, along with a plain black t-shirt from the pile of laundry he’d yet to put away on top of his dresser. He briefly paused in front of the bathroom mirror to check his hair, it wasn’t the best it had ever looked but it was decent enough. Billy raced down the stairs and burst out the front door without saying goodbye to Neil or Susan. 

The sun was resting on the horizon as Billy drove, fiery yellow and bright, blinding him as he sped down the back roads and headed towards town. A song was blasting over the radio but Billy didn’t pay it much mind. His thoughts were mainly centered on Steve and the cold beer that was waiting for him, he really wanted that cold beer. Soon enough Billy slowed his speed as he entered the village, the streets were pretty quiet. The only people out were a few people standing in line in front of the small ice cream shop beside the movie theater. 

Steve lived in an apartment above the laundromat which was right beside the best pizza place in town. There was only street parking, but Billy managed to parallel park his truck into a tight spot right in front of the laundromat. He paused for a moment after he shut the car off, bracing himself to open the car door and let out the cool air from his truck’s AC. Finally, after a few moments of contemplation, Billy pushed open the door and climbed out into the humid Indiana summer heat. Billy pulled open the door that led up to the apartments above the laundromat and climbed up the narrow stairwell that led to a small landing that had two doors, one to each apartment. 

Billy panicked for a moment, not knowing which one was Steve’s. But his panic was eased when just a moment later the door to apartment A opened, “Hey! I saw your car pull up outside and I figured you didn’t know which apartment was mine.”

Billy nodded as he walked over the threshold of the apartment, his body passing closely past Steve into the small entryway. “Shoes or no shoes?” Billy asked as he stood close to Steve in the small tight space, close enough that he could almost feel the other man’s body heat radiating off of him. 

“Whichever you prefer, I’m not my mother so I don’t really have a preference.”

Billy couldn’t help but think about Susan’s preference for shoes to come off in the kitchen, so he took off his sneakers before following Steve into the small kitchen. Billy took in the small space, how the archway of the kitchen led into a small living room that was pretty much just a couch facing a decent sized TV. Straight ahead was a fairly large window that overlooked the street, you could see the river off in the distance. 

Steve trailed into the room behind him, “Welcome to my humble abode,” Steve said as he pressed a cold beer against Billy’s arm causing him to startle at the temperature and turn around to face the other man. “Asshole!” Billy yelled out. 

Steve offered a naughty smile, “Hey now, you shouldn’t call a man offering you free beer an asshole. Mean names might make me rethink sharing my beer.”

Billy grabbed the beer quickly out of Steve’s hand in response, “If you withhold me beer I’ll have to leave. You have to know that’s the only reason I’m here.” Billy replied teasingly. 

“I knew it,” Steve said, shaking his head. “You’re using me for free alcohol, go figure. But I guess I’ll deal with it, after all the company isn’t so bad.”

Billy plopped down onto the end of the couch closest to the window, and Steve sat on the other end. The men paused the conversation to each take a sip of their beer. Billy let out a loud sound of contentment after he took a long gulp that drained nearly half the bottle. “That really hits the spot after a long day out in the sun. Fuck water, beer is what we need to sustain life.” 

“I’ll cheers to that,” Steve said, offering up his bottle. Billy tapped his own bottle against Steve’s and the two traded stories about their day. Steve recounted his adventures at the mechanics that morning, complaining about how the old beemer was getting more expensive to keep up these days. The mechanic wanted to charge him nearly two hundred dollars for a brake job. “Dude, I can do a brake job for you, don’t pay those prices, Jimmy always overcharges. New brake pads don’t cost that much. If you go buy the brake pads it’ll only take me a couple hours to change them.”

Steve’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “You’d do that for me?”

“Yeah, it’s no problem at all. Just tell me when you want to do them and drive the car out to the farm. I have everything I need out in our garage. We repair all our own cars and farm equipment so I can do most of the things that don’t require more specialized machinery.” 

“That would be a life saver, Billy. People might think otherwise but the starting salary on the police force here isn’t that much. Plus all the stuff I had to buy during the move put a dent in my savings.”

Billy shrugged it off, it was the least he could do to help out a friend. Steve ended up turning on the TV and grabbing them each another round of beers from the kitchen. The two men alternated between watching some movie that was on and talking whenever the other brought something up. Conversation was easy, that was something Billy found surprising about spending time with Steve. Usually Billy felt so awkward in social situations and could barely carry a conversation to save his life. But Steve put him at ease, words came easy around him. Billy had thought he might feel self conscious around the other man, but that had quickly faded. Steve had an easy and affable sense of humor, he was effortlessly humorous and frequently doled out sarcasm. 

Billy noticed that the sun was setting outside but neither of them made any move to end the evening. Instead, Steve kept grabbing them drinks and the two continued on the evening even as a new movie started to play on TV. The beer and the slightly cooling night air coming in through the window beside him was causing Billy to feel drowsy after a few hours of conversation. But Billy felt content where he was, nestled in a comfortable second hand couch next to his friend. It was there that Billy eventually fell asleep, his head rolling back as Steve also faded quickly beside him. The two men drifted off to sleep to the soft sounds of some action movie playing in the background and a cool summer breeze blowing through the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long delay in getting this chapter finished. My semester has started back up and it's been very busy and I've also been experiencing some depression. Thanks for your patience and understanding. Please leave kudos and/or a comment because they make me happy!
> 
> (Also, take my advice and listen to Hunger Strike by Temple of the Dog, it's seriously an amazing song!) 
> 
> \- FOR


	6. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy and Steve get close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be safe and take care. :)

Billy was not a natural morning person. Being a morning person was something Billy had to begrudgingly learn since working on the farm meant starting the day at an early hour. On days when Billy forgot to set his vibrating alarm clock, he’d be awoken by his father tapping him firmly on the shoulder or the back, shouting something about all the work he needed to get to. Billy did have to admit that watching the sun rise every morning was one of his favorite times of the day. The way the sun would peek up over the horizon and then slowly saturate the sky with color. The quiet stillness of the morning always gave Billy a sense of tranquility and peace even on days when his thoughts gravitated towards storminess. Riding out across dewy fields with the sounds of the early rising birds happily chirping under the pale orange-pink colors of the sky made for a nice start to the day. The brilliance of the sunrise made the fatigue that beset his eyes early in the morning less of a hardship to deal with. 

Billy hadn’t meant to fall asleep at Steve’s apartment. He certainly hadn’t gone over there with the intent of a sleepover, it was only supposed to be for a couple of hours. Billy had no memory of falling asleep on Steve Harrington’s couch. He only knew it had happened when he woke up on Steve’s couch. Or more precisely, when he woke up  _ on _ Steve who was also on the couch. From what he could recall, Billy knew he had been sat at the opposite end of the couch from Steve. So it was a particularly strange experience to find himself waking up with his head on Steve Harrington’s lap. 

Billy usually felt a few moments of confusion as consciousness came back to him when he awoke in the morning. This time was no exception, Billy felt as his eyes slowly opened, but in his still half asleep state his brain hadn’t yet registered the fact that he was not only in Steve’s apartment but laying on the man himself. It took Billy a full thirty seconds before he was consciously aware enough to realize that he was laying on a pair of legs, legs that could only belong to one other person. Billy was gripped by a sudden and intense wave of mortification. Without giving it another thought, Billy sat up and pushed himself back to the opposite end of the couch, safely away from the other man. 

It was only when Billy was back at the opposite end of the couch that he looked back to where Steve was, and saw the other man looking at him with eyes that were both wide awake and somewhat amused. Billy felt his mortification increase ten fold, he felt almost paralyzed with embarrassment. Sometimes he drooled in his sleep, oh my fucking god, what if he had drooled on Steve? Billy’s mind was racing and he was aware that he probably looked like a massive idiot. This fear was further compounded when he reached up and felt that one of his hearing aids had fallen off the back of his ear and was hanging to his ear only by the piece that went inside his ear. He quickly replaced his hearing aid just in time to hear Steve start to speak. 

“You’re awake,” Steve said, his voice lighthearted and cheery, not at all what Billy might have expected given the situation. 

“Dude, why didn’t you wake me up?” Billy managed to utter out. 

Steve gave a gentle smile in return, “You were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t want to wake you. Did you know you snore? It’s a cute little quiet snore though, it didn’t wake me up or anything.”

Billy’s brain short circuited upon hearing the word cute out of Steve’s mouth in reference to his snoring. This was still incredibly embarrassing but also sweet in a way that made Billy’s heart start to hammer in his chest. Billy suddenly felt like he couldn’t meet Steve’s eyes, he felt plagued by the fear that all of his emotions were too visible on his face and would give him away. He couldn’t fathom the thought of giving away to Steve the way he felt about him and then losing his friend. He hadn’t had Steve in his life as a friend for very long but the thought of not having him to talk to anymore felt like it would be the most excruciating kind of pain Billy could remember since his mother’s death. 

“Hey Billy?” Steve asked. Billy finally looked up and met Steve’s eyes, they were a little darker now, more concerned. “Don’t feel weird about it okay, it’s fine. It didn’t bother me. If it bothered you then I’m sorry but it’s no big deal to me so don’t feel bad about it or anything.”

Billy continued to just stare at Steve, he didn’t know what to do or say. His heart felt like it might beat out of his chest and his brain was a jumbled mess of thoughts. He was making it awkward, he knew he was. He should be able to just let this go and move on. But he was so stupid and gay and weird and it felt like eveything was going to come crashing down on him. 

Billy heard Steve sigh and that sound made his eyes refocus. He saw Steve looking down at his lap like he was unsure. Great, Billy knew he had done it. He’d made Steve feel horribly uncomfortable. He figured he should just get up and leave, walk out of this apartment and go back to whatever his life had been before he reconnected with Steve Harrington. But that’s not what happened. Instead, Steve spoke again. 

Steve wasn’t looking at him, his eyes seemed to be staring somewhere behind him, like he was looking at something out the window. “You’re uncomfortable because of the locker room thing right? You saw me sucking off Tommy in the locker room and so you know I’m not straight and now we crossed some physical boundary that’s made you uncomfortable. God, I’m really sorry about that Billy. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me, I still want to be friends. I would never want to cross any personal boundaries you have.” 

Billy was suddenly very confused. Steve thought he was uncomfortable about sleeping on him because of the locker room thing? He thought Billy was uncomfortable about the fact that he’d fallen asleep on a guy who was not straight. Billy did have a moment of what could only be described as vindication that Steve had confirmed his non-heterosexuality. It might have seemed a given considering what Billy had seen back in high school but Billy also hadn’t wanted to assume anything. Steve had totally misinterpreted the situation, Billy felt the need to correct him. 

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Billy said quickly, trying his best to catch Steve’s eyes with his own as he spoke. 

“You’re not?” Steve questioned as he finally met Billy’s gaze. 

Billy shook his head. He knew the words he wanted to say but they felt trapped in his throat. He’d never said these words aloud to anyone before. But he had to tell Steve, if he didn’t do it now he would regret it. Billy took a shaky breath and glanced down at his hands in his lap before looking back up to meet Steve’s eyes once again.

“I’m gay.” The silence that followed was excruciating. Billy felt like all the oxygen had been sucked from the room, he couldn’t breathe. Steve’s mouth had fallen open in surprise, but he recovered quickly. 

“You’re gay?” Steve asked as though he needed confirmation. 

Billy could only nod in response. 

“So you’re not uncomfortable…” Steve trailed off for a moment. Billy nodded again, he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks though. Steve was catching on. He knew. Silence lingered between them for a few more moments as Steve processed his thoughts. Finally, a small smile graced Steve’s face and it made Billy want to melt, but in a good way. 

The early morning sunrise was casting a soft yellow glow through the window behind him, Billy was blessed with the sight of Steve bathed in a soft pink glow. Billy didn’t know exactly what time it was, only that it was early in the morning. Billy liked this time of day. And he really liked Steve’s smile. 

“Do you have a crush on me, Billy Hargrove?” Steve asked in a coy voice. His smile was radiant. Billy couldn’t speak. He suddenly felt timid, like a small frightened rabbit stood transfixed by some sound in the woods. Billy couldn’t meet Steve’s eyes, this was too much for him suddenly. He stared down at his calloused hands which rested in his lap. He focused on the faint pale scar on the back of his right hand which had happened a few years ago while cutting some chicken wire. He was almost startled by the sensation of a hand on his cheek, gently pulling his chin up so he was forced to meet Steve’s eyes. Steve was much closer all of a sudden. He was in Billy’s space, touching his cheek. His fingers were soft and gentle and remained on him, holding his gaze steady. Billy had never felt so exposed or vulnerable. But instead of fear, he felt a thrill of excitement and electricity course through his veins. 

Steve’s voice was quiet but clear and easily perceptible as he spoke. “Is this okay? Do you want me to stop?”

Billy gave his head the tiniest movement, just enough to convey the fact that no, he didn’t want Steve to stop. He never wanted him to stop. 

“Can I kiss you?”

Yes. Billy nodded. 

No sooner had Billy ceased the subtle motion of his head, than were Steve’s lips on his. The kiss was sudden, but then it was happening. Slow and gentle and soft. Steve was kissing Billy. Billy was kissing Steve. It was like a wave had rushed over the top of his head, sending Billy tumbling in the water. He was upside down, dizzy, and discombobulated. It was intoxicating. Their lips had met for just a few seconds before Steve pulled away just ever so slightly. “Was that okay?” Steve asked. 

Billy was nodding yes, but it was as though his body were moving faster than his own thoughts because before he could finish nodding yes his arms were already reaching out and pulling Steve back into him. Their lips met in a crash this time. The timidity and gentleness of their first kiss was gone. This kiss was pure passion. Billy wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck, pulling him in closer, closer, closer. They needed to be even closer. That’s all Billy could think. Steve’s tongue found Billy’s, and this drew a sound from Billy that he had never heard from himself before. A deep, guttural moan. This was pleasure. This was real. Billy felt Steve’s tongue in his mouth, felt his hands running up and down his chest before coming up to his hair, where his fingers tangled as they grabbed at him, pulling him even further in. 

The only thing that pulled the two men apart was their eventual need for air. Finally, Steve had to pull away, his kiss-swollen lips were parted, he was gasping for breath. Billy was doing the same. He had completely forgotten that breathing was a thing he needed to do. The two men were still in each other’s space, only a couple inches separated their mouths. Billy wanted to kiss Steve again, oxygen be damned. He didn’t care if he suffocated. 

Billy suddenly felt a rush of confidence. Steve was breathless and he had made him that way. “Are you  _ uncomfortable? _ ” Billy asked in a quiet breathy voice. 

Steve let out an airy chuckle. “No. I’d say I’m far from uncomfortable right now. What about you, are you comfortable Billy?”

Billy nodded, “Mhm, I don’t think I’ve ever felt better.”

“I was only asking because I noticed a way I could offer my hospitality and make your stay at my apartment even better.”

“Oh yeah, what is it that you could do for me?” Billy asked. 

Steve glanced down at Billy’s lap and Billy’s eyes followed. Oh. That. There was the matter of the bulge straining against the tight denim fabric of his cut off Levi shorts. “Would you like some help with that?” Steve asked, his eyes dark and his voice deep. 

Billy nodded. Steve grabbed him by the neck pulling him in once again. Closer, closer, closer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know I sure enjoyed writing it ;). 
> 
> Many thanks to my editor extraordinaire thefriendliestofghosts.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so happy to be back and writing another Harringrove fanfic. This one is extra personal to me as someone who is hard of hearing and wears hearing aids. I hope you guys enjoy and please feel free to leave kudos and comments if you are so inclined. 
> 
> Many thanks to my editor extradinoire for the help on this chapter! 
> 
> \- FOR


End file.
